Posts Tagged ‘grateful’

18 May

Gratitude is Healing

Posted by DOGKISSES in gratitude, personal, reflections, relationships. Tagged: , , , , , , , , .

Dogs Know Best

Bye Bye and Hello!

“I like reading blogs about fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” I told my good friend.

He laughed.  He thought I was joking. 

Realizing I was serious, my friend and I started a conversation, which was as healthy as the awesome brunch he had prepared for us. 

My friend is a wonderful cook.  He likes to show off his talents in the kitchen.  I’m always happy when I’m on the receiving end of his pancakes made from scratch or the egg dish he makes when I’m feeling particularly down.

Having a real friend is one blessing in my life that helped me rise above the darkness I found myself in after falling prey to a narcissist’s deviant intentions, lies and games.

My friend has never read a blog, but he sure bought me this little computer I’m writing in mine with.

There weren’t any hidden agendas in the gift.  No power-tripping.  Nothing other than wanting to do something for a friend out of love.  Unconditional love is a wonderful gift.

The relationship I had, with a man who by all means behaved like a text-book narcissist, was toxic to my mind, body and spirit.  He had also given me gifts.  Alas.  Each one came with a price.  I would later learn that everything the man had done or offered, in the name of love and kindness, was all a part of his dark and destructive intentions.

Ending a relationship with a man who suddenly changed, and so drastically that he became unrecognizable, was a shocking and painful experience.  I did end it though, and from that day forward, I am healing.

I’m making new memories.   My spirit is renewed in new acquaintances, but even more by remembering the good friends I have.   Authentic interactions with people is healing my heart and helping me to sort through the confusion that was left.

I can feel a return to myself.

I started writing again.  I’m enjoying simple things like sitting by a fire.  My mental and emotional health is better, but it took a pretty long time for the pain to settle down.  Healing after abuse takes time.

Practicing gratitude has helped me heal.  Every little thing helps when you’re assembling pieces of your self.  Being grateful is said to be a state of mind, and I believe it.

A healthy life after a toxic relationship is possible. 

Aside from practicing gratitude, saying No was crucial for me to get out and stay out.  I had to say NO many times, at first to the man with harmful intentions and finally, to myself each time I doubted the truth.

Say no to a narcissist!

“No” icon via IconDoIt

Thank you for visiting Dogkisses’s blog! 

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25 Sep

From the brain to the heart

Posted by DOGKISSES in dogs, gratitude, health, mental and emotional health. Tagged: , , , , , , .

invisible pathway

I was connected to the computer through a wire with a clamp attached to the tip of my index finger.   I thought about what I’m grateful for, particularly the unconditional love and companionship I feel from my furry little angels with four legs.

As I talked about my dogs the computer screen generated colors on several graphs.  Talking about them created intense colors of purple, violet, orange and blue.

The biofeedback therapist was enthusiastic about her work.  “Look!  Look how much the graphs change when you talk about your dogs!”

There was one column on the computer screen that detected activity in an, “invisible pathway” from the brain to the heart.  Talking about my dogs filled this column with a deep purple color.  

The therapist laughed and said she knew an invisible pathway sounded silly, but I didn’t care.  I’m interested in learning how to reduce physical pain and calm my spirit.  

I think the essence of biofeedback is about creating awareness of changes in the body when one is faced with stress and, changes when one actively chooses to calm the body, such as intentionally experiencing gratitude.

Outside of the sessions, I started to notice the changes in my body when I felt upset.   A rising heart rate, a familiar feeling in my gut that comes with anxiety, or the start of a negative thought pattern.  Being aware of the physical changes in my body help me to back up for a second.  It helps to see the changes before they get out of control, although I haven’t by any means mastered this practice.

Living with chronic illnesses means I need to lessen any stress that I can.  I may not be able to change circumstances, but I do have some control over how I respond to the stresses.  If I can slow down enough in a highly stressful situation to take slower breaths, then I can hopefully better choose my battles.

If I see myself falling quickly into depression, sometimes I’m able to think my way out of going too far down or staying down too long.

“You have to think grateful thoughts,” the biofeedback therapist told me.  “Positive thinking does not produce the same effects as does grateful thinking.”

I think of my dogs when I want an instant dose of gratitude.  Living with chronic illnesses has shaped my life in a way that isn’t always easy to accept.  Dogs offer an unconditional kind of love and understanding that’s like a golden elixir to my spirit.

Practicing gratitude helps me with depression.  It helps me to feel more accepting about things that I cannot control.  Feeling grateful helps me keep my chin up.

Thanks for visiting Dogkisses’s blog!

Image link:

http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Descartes-reflex.JPG

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