Posts Tagged ‘writing’

Life and Loss

Struggling to Find Uninterrupted Time for Writing and Reflection

My hands and fingers started bothering me more over the past two years. My vision is compromised. Writing once came so easily and I adored the process. I identified with the craft as an important part of who I am.

Bella still offers up her bright eyes every day. She prances about like she’s the happiest dog in the town.

I was diagnosed with another autoimmune disease. Mixed Connective Tissue Diseases. Doctors and their diagnoses do not impress me. One says one thing and another says a different thing. After years of this dynamic, I don’t know if I should trust any diagnosis.

I miss writing. I miss the home I left in 2014. I miss the many birds who visited my yard. And to my own surprise, the butterflies that started visiting my mostly shaded moss covered yard.

I had dozens of plants! The butterflies first enjoyed the Lantana. By the time I moved, I had almost every plant I had ever dreamed of having.

The birds that came into my yard felt like they were mine. Believe me, it was really sad after I left. I thought of them every night when I lied in bed. I cried for the best of a year.

Everything I lost was because I made a choice; many choices, that I believed at the time was what I should do for someone I dearly love. Now, I think perhaps I was blinded by my motherly instincts.

I have to go to physical therapy now. I’m not progressing. PT is all about the patient doing the exercises at home. Like writing, my time is interrupted.

I wish I had a more positive post. I figured why not just write. Right?

Until next time, which I truly hope is not months and months in the future, I wish you, my readers, a good day!

Very truly,

DOGKISSES.

PostAWeek in 2011

www,domain,internet,web,net

Image via Wikipedia

I like a challenge and I’ve decided to take part in PostAWeek in 2011.

The most challenging part for me will most likely be what to post.  I have plenty to say, but I often scrutinize my ideas to the point of wearing them out or giving up on them.  The reluctance or reservations I have about posting are usually because I don’t think what I want to write about is positive or will offer something good (because it isn’t positive enough) –but this isn’t how I really feel.  It’s what I think.

I want to feel free in my blog.  I want to feel free to speak my truth, whatever it is.  Of course I want what I write to have some resemblance of a, “silver lining in the cloud,” but in my heart I feel like it’s okay if it doesn’t.

There were plenty of days in 2010 when I wanted to write but didn’t because what I’ve gone through and how I’ve felt has been difficult.  I don’t want to let down the people who visit my blog wishing I felt better only to discover that I am sad or grieving.

I subscribed to The DailyPost and will do my best to participate in the community of other bloggers with similar goals to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

“If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.” (A Sample Post)

I look forward to this New Year!

dogkisses.