Archive for the ‘Chronic Fatigue Syndrome’ Category

27 May

Bella Brings Joy

Posted by DOGKISSES in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, dogs, healing, health. Tagged: , , , , , , , .

My sweet dog, Bella, was one happy dog today.  My son and I needed drinking water.  He drove us to Weaver Street market in Carrboro to fill our containers. 

Weaver Street is a wonderful place. You can buy fresh local produce, bulk items, such as coffee, organic peanut butter, nuts and seeds, beans, and herbs. I sampled fresh blueberry bread. Yum! I don’t eat much bread these days, but that one bite was bursting with flavor from the fresh berries.

The clouds protected me from the usual harshness of sunlight and heat in North Carolina.  Thou it’s not yet summer, our springtime is hot these days. I sat outside on the lawn with Bella, while my son filled the water containers.

Bella waiting on my son to return.

I’ve been very fatigued for the best of two years. Living with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), is not new to me. I was diagnosed in 2005 after having Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and earlier, Lyme’s disease. I also live with chronic widespread pain and various other conditions that developed over the past two decades.

Talking about my life, without mentioning or thinking about fatigue and pain is a challenge. Today I got a short break. Bella and her joy had a lot to do with the freedom I experienced. I’m not even sure I recognized that I was free at the time. That realization came after we returned to my son’s apartment.

My favorite part of the outing was while Bella and I were on the lawn. Her tail wagged and for the first few minutes, she swirled a few times, getting a look at everyone around her. A young boy was playing with a toy sailboat. Bella loves children. She lied down when he got close. She does that around babies and young ones. Letting them know that she isn’t a threat. I mean, she is just so cool!

Bella is watching the bustling market.
On the Lawn

The feelings I had while waiting outside for my son, watching Bella be so happy, were healing. Sometimes, maybe all the time, healing comes in spurts. Unexpectedly.

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Michelle.

DOGKISSES.

20 May

Early Morning Musings

Posted by DOGKISSES in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, health, hope, invisible illnesses. Tagged: , , , , , , .

4 AM is too early to wake up, even for the birds. I went to bed with the chickens, so I woke up eager for the night to be over. I do however enjoy the quiet of early mornings.

Water flows from a fountain rock sculpture in the corner park across the road. I’m listening to that as I write.

In 2020, after most businesses shut down, I often sat by my windows listening to the sound of the flowing water. The trains weren’t running. Trucks weren’t carrying cargo. The few cars that traveled hwy 70 passed at the same times twice daily. I had the town to myself.

Bella and I would walk the main blocks downtown several times a day. I’d stop to look in the shop windows. I met the regulars who also walked their dogs each day. We’d say hello. Bella loved hearing people say how cute she is, which is still true.

The corner park also has flowers. A young woman tended them and kept a colorful array of blooms in every season. I enjoyed talking with her. A small town west of here soon took her from us to tend their gardens. Our park’s flower beds never fully recovered her departure.

The other day, I watched the young men who are now in charge of the flower beds. One man held a large plastic bag. The pretty yellow bell-shaped blooms that I’d been enjoying for weeks, had been dug up and were falling from the bag. He’d taken them from their roots. My heart sank a little. He even took the silver-leafed plants with tiny golden blooms that were not bothering anyone or anything. I have a vase with those in water by my desk.

“We’re going to plant red and white flowers for the holiday,” the young man answered, after I’d asked why they were taking the plants. And then he said it. “For the fourth of July.”

I felt dread. Bella doesn’t like the noise of fireworks. Neither do I. This is by far my least favorite holiday. I wish I could leave. I wish we could go someplace by water, maybe in the mountains, where nobody would set off fireworks.

I broke my foot and ankle in 2020. I still walked the town. Only with crutches. My shoulders and arms still hurt. In fact, I now have a frozen shoulder.

Doctors say Frozen Shoulder, (Adhesive Capsulitis), is a self-limiting disease and will get better in two years. This is the 11th month.

For the first four or five months, I felt like an oak tree that someone had cut down. From late August to mid-December 2025, I cried every day and night. My son came and helped me.

I wasn’t only crying from the pain in my shoulder, although, it is definitely one of the most debilitating conditions I’ve endured. The pain with frozen shoulder is constant. 24/7!

My family endured two tragedies in early 2025. Everyone survived, thank goodness, but as a result, dynamics of care giving for my mom changed. I was needed and I wanted to continue helping out, but frozen shoulder got the best of me.

The orthopedic doctor said, “You didn’t have anywhere to go when you started.”

I asked her to explain.

“You started at the top,” she continued. “You were already in a lot of pain when your shoulder froze.”

As with most invisible illness or chronic pain, many people, even family, do not understand. My siblings went no contact. My heart broke into many pieces. They had their own challenges to face though. Nothing was easy for any of us in 2025.

Things are better now than they were, although, not everyone is out of the woods yet. My sisters call when they can. I got tired of explaining pain. I don’t even try to explain chronic fatigue syndrome.

A new doctor made life a bit easier for me in mid-December. I no longer felt that someone had cut my trunk like an oak tree. I felt more like a storm had pushed me over. Slowly, I started to feel that I was rising up.

I wish I could write more regularly. I may have pain later from this session. I miss blogging and writing in general. I still have hope. I still enjoy walking Bella around town. I think that’s what we’ll do now and if the bakery is open, I’ll get a muffin or something not too sweet that will comfort my belly. From the tone of this post, I could use a bit of comfort.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

Michelle, from DOGKISSES.

16 Jun

One pill ~~ One day

Posted by DOGKISSES in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, fibromyalgia, health, invisible illnesses. Tagged: , , , , , , , .

lovely image of dandelions and blue sky“dent de lion and blue skies and wishing” 

PHOTO CREDIT: VIRGINIA SANDERSON via Flickr

In the back of my mind was an awareness that my energy was not only temporary, which I’m used to, but was induced by medication.  It was an odd feeling. 

I was temporarily able-bodied.  An inner voice kept reminding me that the clock was ticking.  I didn’t want to remember that I would have to go back to my life of being too tired to visit my family again any time soon.  I tried not to think about where my energy was coming from.  I’ve taken the medication before and always had this same experience.

For the most part, I managed to keep my thoughts positive and be grateful for the time with my mother and one of my sisters.

We had a very nice visit and ate home-cooked hamburgers at a lovely little country restaurant.   I got to see my mother’s beautiful and prolific flower garden.  I’d feared I wouldn’t get to see it at all this year.  Many times I’ve heard her say, “I wish you could see the…,” and she’ll mention whatever is blooming.

I didn’t tell my sister that a little white pill was the fuel I was running on.  I did however, end up telling my mother before I left, which I later regretted. 

I didn’t have to tell her that fatigue was disabling me.  I didn’t have to tell her that I had to take medication for my body and brain to work that day, but I did. 

I had wanted to spare them the details of how hard it is to live with pain and severe fatigue every single day.  Had I failed, I wondered on my way home.

I guess I also wanted to let somebody know the truth.  For some reason, I needed somebody to know that me making the trip was hard.  Plus, my mother is nearly psychic.  If I don’t tell her, it isn’t like she doesn’t know, which she reminds me of from time to time.

“You look so good,” my sister had said shortly after I arrived.  “Your eyes are clear.  You really look good,” she added, with a pleased look about her.

Part of me wanted to tell her that I was running on medication and how underneath what she saw, was a completely exhausted human being, but I didn’t.  I didn’t want to disappoint her.  I love my sister and it warmed my heart knowing she was enjoying the bit of time, when her little sister looked okay. 

I wished in that moment that I could give this to my family more often.  If my looking well made her happy, then I thought it best not to spoil the moment.  I did what my seventh grade teacher once told me to do if someone gave me a compliment.  I said thank you.  Nothing more. 

I’m just too dang tired to do things.  Too tired to think or make decisions.  Too tired to talk some of the time.  Too tired to clean or cook.  Too tired to go anywhere, like the grocery store.

I took the little white pill and had a good day. 

I choose not to take the medication very often because anything that can make this body get up and go, while it feels like I’ve been hit and run over by an eighteen-wheeler, well… I guess it scares me.

Thanks for visiting Dogkisses’s Blog!  Feel free to leave a comment.  Emails are never published. 

Thanks to Flickr member and professional photographer, Virginia Sanderson,  for her absolutely beautiful images!  I’m not a photographer and don’t speak their language, but I especially love the different textures she creates.   I encourage you to check out her photostream.


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9 Apr

In all the fog, I write…

Posted by DOGKISSES in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, disability, fibromyalgia, health. Tagged: , , , , , , .

Thunder beings and Brain Fog

The Thunder Beings have roared and a hard rain is falling.  I sure am glad to be home.  I like being home with my dogs during a storm.  I also like knowing that as I write, my family are in safe places.   Shortly, I’ll be snuggling up with my furry family to watch a movie.  I can’t tell you which movie because I forgot the name of it, which brings me to the heart of this blog post.

I basically wanted to say hello to my blogging friends and readers.

I miss my blog.  I especially miss being able to think clearly enough to express myself through writing.

Normally, I can sit down and write ten pages about something and even though it might need editing, I’m able to communicate what is on my mind.  Lately, this is not the case.  I have a lot on my mind, much of which I’d like to write about in this blog, but I am simply too tired.   I’m also in a lot of pain.

I began this post last night and wanted to publish it while the Thunder Beings were here.  I finished it, which amazed me, but I couldn’t keep enough mental energy to tag it or put it in a category.

The Thunder Beings came back tonight just as I sat down in another attempt to write something that makes sense.  Another hard rain fell.

I don’t know who came up with the term, “brain fog,” but the condition is well understood by those of us who have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and/or fibromyalgia.

Brain fog attempts to describe a medical mental fatigue that robs us of our normal cognitive skills and abilities.  For the past six months I’ve battled this fog consistently.  Normally, the condition isn’t this persistent and instead comes and goes, giving me times when I can still think.

Writing is hard when this is happening and I usually don’t even try.  I forget my words and have to use the dictionary constantly.  I can’t spell words I’ve spelled since elementary school.  My sentences are choppy and things aren’t flowing.

Brain fog can make a person nearly incapable of verbal responses.  It can have an effect on a person’s speech.  Words might get disordered in a sentence or we use a word that sounds like the one we are intending to say.

I know the words I’m looking for when I lose them.  I can describe the meaning, sometimes the sound or the first letter.  Written words I’ve known since I was a child look unfamiliar.

Mostly I’m tired and sleepy, but I can’t stay asleep long enough for my body to restore itself.  I’m half awake and half asleep.  It isn’t a good place to act from.

My body is as tired as my brain is.  Moving around is hard.  Bending over takes tremendous energy.  I can’t keep up with my chores and that stresses me out.

I’ve missed deadlines.  Many of my obligations in life are compromised.  I don’t get to go visit my family.  I’m also getting a bit confused and my short-term memory is shot.

The fatigue alone is completely overwhelming.  Add to that widespread ongoing pain in the nerves, muscles and deep in the bones and it is one mighty difficult condition!

Life goes on though.  It doesn’t stop for me to be sick or it seems, for me to get proper rest, but then maybe I don’t know how to rest.  Maybe I forgot.

Much of the time, I feel stressed.

I have an adult son, whom I love with all my heart.  He has challenges that I haven’t learned how to accept in a way that doesn’t cause me grief and anxiety.  I believe that accepting things the way they are is the best place to start when you want to change something, but honestly, I don’t feel like I’m doing a good job at this with mine or my son’s circumstances.

Being unwell causes me to feel like I’m failing my son, the other members in my family, including my dogs and a community.  I can’t say that I have the latter, but if I did belong to a community, where would I fit in I wonder.

When I have brain fog, I don’t feel like I have anything to offer.  I do love my family and friends, so I guess love is the one thing I still have to give, no matter what.

I worry about what is happening in this country.  The cuts in our system are scary to me on a personal level.

Being a disabled American makes me feel like a misfit.  The taxpayer’s enemy.  I represent to some Americans the reason our country is in such bad shape.  Somebody, “living for free.”  A flaw in an otherwise well-functioning system.

The doctor wonders what is depressing me!

Chronic illness impacts my view of myself and the world.  It’s a view that’s been filtered through pain, mental fog and bewildering fatigue, along with a very long decade of chronic stress.

I have the dogs to keep things real.  Plus, of course, I love them and think they’re the greatest little creatures to have ever lived on the planet!

One of my dogs had to go out a little while ago.  I was lying on the sofa.  He came over and sat there beside me, patiently waiting.

I felt like a million pounds of sand was lying on top of my body and it hurt.  After about eight minutes, which seemed like forever, I got up.

Putting his collar on him, I just happened to look at the sofa where I had tried to rest.  I saw the pain.  I saw the fatigue.

I didn’t want to ever lie on that sofa again.  I hurt when I lie down.  For a moment, the difference between the way I felt standing and the way I had felt lying down was somewhat mentally shocking.

I feel some better when I get up, but it isn’t long before I’m completely exhausted and must lie down again.

My dogs continue to be good for my health.  They keep me from never getting off that sofa.  They need me and I need them.

They took me outside after the rain stopped tonight.  I needed a short little walk and some fresh air.  They always know this.

Thanks for visiting Dogkisses’s blog.

Image via drburtoni’s photostream, Flickr.

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4 Mar

Pain, Fatigue and Dogs

Posted by DOGKISSES in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, companion animals, fibromyalgia, healing, health. Tagged: , , , , .

dogs know how to fight fatigue, just look...

Sometimes I think I forget or am in denial of having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.  I go and go and go and then I crash.  I try to keep a balance, but some days life demands things and I do more than I should.  That’s the way it’s been lately.

I have a pretty bad infected foot, which I thought was fibromyalgia pain, until I pulled my little toe away to look.  I saw what was NOT fibromyalgia.

A month or so ago, I bought a pair of boots.  I wore them around the house, just for fun, and also to take the dogs out in the mornings.  My foot began hurting after several days.  I’ve had foot pain before after wearing a new pair of shoes, which is why I didn’t do any close inspections of my foot, especially beside my little toe.

Well, it sure didn’t look good so off to my doctor I went.  He gave me antibiotics and cream, made a joke about me wearing boots around the house asking if I thought someone was going to come by with a camera and did I want to be ready.  Very funny while my foot was swollen and infected, but I’m used to him.  I like him.  I don’t like that sometimes I think he lets things go, like my foot!

It only got worse.  A round of antibiotics started to help and here’s where I went wrong, I guess.  I missed a few doses.  Now, I have a hole in my foot.  I went back to the doctor.

“Do you think I need some more antibiotics?” I asked him.

“No,” he responded confidently.  I would like to send you to a podiatrist with your permission.”

Well, duh.

So, off I went to the fancy foot doctor who didn’t have any manners at all.  I don’t know where he’s from, but I bet it ain’t North Carolina.

I told him how I had thought it was fibromyalgia for the first several days of pain.  Maybe that’s why he had a dismissive attitude towards me, but then I am so tired of trying to figure out why people who act weird act that way.

He kept saying what I hadn’t done or what I was doing wrong.

He sent me to the x-ray room where they took several images of my foot.  Fortunately, those looked good.

“How long have you not been taking antibiotics?” he asked when I returned.

“Since I finished the ones my doctor gave me,” I told him.

“You do know you have a hole in your foot don’t you?”

I told him that I most certainly did.

“I’ve been to the doctor twice already.  I would have gone to the emergency room if I hadn’t known I was coming here.”

“You’re wearing closed shoes first of all,” he said in a tone that I didn’t like.

It was cold outside.  My family doctor had complimented my shoes.  Why had he not put me on another antibiotic I wondered.

The foot doctor explained how serious the infection is because of where it is and I’m too tired to describe it, but I took heed!  It can go up and into my leg if it gets worse.  He says if I do everything he told me to do then it should be getting well within a week.

So far so good.  Ten days of a very strong antibiotic.

I’d told my family doctor how my son said I was going to lose my foot and later, my leg when he saw it getting worse.  The doctor joked again saying not to let him get near any knives.  From what the foot doctor said, my son wasn’t far off from being right.

The good news is that hopefully, the antibiotics, along with soaking it in vinegar water will heal it.  The soaks hurt like crazy.

I dislike antibiotics very much and this one is kicking me down like a sick dog.

Tiny love hereSpeaking of dogs, mine are once again being very good nurses.

Yesterday, when I finally returned from the hospital, I lied down and put my foot up.  I know they felt how stressed I was.

Our big guy, Tiny, (the cutie with the big head) whom I’m going to write about soon, well, he crawled up beside me on the sofa and lied down on barely enough space for his wide body and put his head on my belly.  That’s what he’s been doing for the past few months whenever I don’t feel good.  He lies there looking at me with his big beautiful hound dog eyes.  Yesterday, just for extras, he gave me a kiss.  He doesn’t give many.  I felt very special indeed.

My pretty little girl curled up at my feet in her soft ball of silky fur.  She is absolutely the softest dog I’ve ever petted in my life.  Absolutely!

Dogs Rule!!!

They were incredibly sweet with both of their heads resting on me and their eyes saying, “OH WE LOVE YOU!”

cooking for mom

I’m also grateful to my son for the many meals he has cooked for me lately. I’ve gained a few pounds, which is a very good thing.

However, he is staying with me and it is driving me a little nuts.  I’ll be glad when he wants to go back to his apartment.

Just the truth.

I’m going to give in to the fatigue for a little while, which means I’ll have to be alone.

I think I’ll finish a good novel I started weeks ago, The Accidental Tourist, by Anne Tyler.

I’m tired.  Too tired to think much.  I’ve been writing, but have nothing ready to click publish.

With that said, I’m offering a few links of interest I found today about pain.

“I am here to tell anyone who suffers from pain each day, whose life is circumscribed and whose goals are slipping out of reach, that you are at last being heard. We are in a pain renaissance.”

Read more: “The End of Ouch” –TIME


–“an adaptive mechanism in which severe pain in one area of the body inhibits pain in another is impaired among women with fibromyalgia. Normally, this system works as a check on the amount of pain the brain can handle; if your arm is sore and someone steps hard on your toe, your arm will temporarily feel better as all of your brain’s pain attention is focused on the new insult. In chronic-pain patients, this mechanism is faulty or nonexistent.”

image of sleeping dog via OLX, Tiredness Disorders



we love mom
Thanks for visiting Dogkisses’s blog.


7 Jan

Breathe out…

Posted by DOGKISSES in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, family, fibromyalgia, health, human relationships. Tagged: , , , , , , , .

Sometimes No Sometimes YesShe’s coming and it won’t take her long to get here.  I have about an hour left.  I didn’t have the courage to say no.

She’s my mother and I love her.  She surprised me when she called to say she was packing.  My gut screamed out at me to say no, but I couldn’t.  I tried.  I called her back three times.

“Are you sure you want to come?” I asked her.

“Yes.  Are you sure you want me to come?” she responded.

“Well, I’m sick,” I told her.  “I’m not in the best mood either you know.”

She says she understands and as much as a part of me wants to say no, obviously another part is saying yes.

I have a hard time saying no, which is why I love the icon my friend, Leslie, at IconDoIt, the blog, created for me.  The image was the top rated media image I used in my blog in 2010.

I love the “No” icon and saying no in 2009 saved my life.

I need to print this icon on a very large sheet of paper and hang it above my desk, which sits in the center of my small home.

“If truth be known,” a phrase my mother uses often, I need to be in a hospital or at least I need a good nurse.

I need a break from the many obligations in my life.  I need sleep.  I need an appetite.  I need more time for me.

I keep breathing out, then in and slowly out again, but I’m still anxious.  My home is cluttered.  I haven’t washed my dishes or vacuumed.  I don’t think my mother has ever seen my place in this condition.  I don’t think she’s ever seen me as wore out as I am now.  She may be shocked at my dishes in the sink and I’m not sure if she will see how very tired I really am.

I wish she could understand how I feel but at the same time I don’t want her to know how sick I am.

Breathe out…

2010 was a hard year and even though my spirit has felt lighter this year my body has not.  I’ve been sick.

About six weeks ago I got a terrible case of bronchitis.  It felt like the flu.  I thought it went away, but the fatigue has come back and hit hard.

I keep getting confused and sometimes the room spins.  I keep crying too, but I’m not sure what that’s about.  Out of the blue come upheavals of emotions and tears.

My pain is worse.  I’m sick on my stomach and food is the last thing I want.  I’m angry.  I’m angry that I feel so bad and have for so long.

I finally called my doctor.  I doubt if he can help me and as I write that thought, the tears want to come.  Maybe it’s because I’m so sick and I don’t know if anyone can help me.

I dread going to the doctor.  He’ll check my lungs to see if there are signs of pneumonia, which is what I’ve suspected.  I looked up the symptoms and have every one of them.

I don’t know why I’ve waited this long to ask for help.  I guess because when you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, it’s hard to know when you get a new illness or have a bug.  Depression can also keep you from seeking medical help when you need it.

I feel guilty for being sick.  I feel like a disappointment to my mother.  At least, I feel like it hurts her to see me sick and especially if I’m sad.  I don’t want to hurt her.

I also feel very much misunderstood, or rather that my illness(es) are misunderstood.

“If you want to sleep while I’m there,” my mother said the third time I called her back, “then just go lie down.”

I wish I could sleep.  I would.

Most people I know don’t understand that fibromyalgia is a sleep disorder.  They think if you are fatigued that you can lie down, go to sleep and all is good.  They are wrong.

Most people I know also don’t understand the reality of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome any better than they do fibromyalgia.  If only they would read blogs by people who are living with and writing about these insidious illnesses.

If we could sleep and sleep well for more than a few hours then we might feel better.  Maybe.

I’m so tired.  I hope my mother is calm in her mind and spirit.  That’s about the best gift she could give me.   I know she’ll start doing chores when she gets here but this is the thing, it will require my help.

I can barely sit here and write, but I thought I better because I don’t know how long she’ll be here and she gets a little jealous of my computer.  Sometimes our visits are emotionally draining on me.

I said yes because I love my mother.  I know she loves me.  I know too that I won’t always have her here.

I said yes.  I sure hope I did the right thing.

I also hope to meet my weekly challenge for PostAWeek, which for me is on Saturday.

OMG!  How did she make it that fast?  OMG!  She is here!

Breathe out…

dogkisses.

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22 Aug

Perspectives on fibromyalgia

Posted by DOGKISSES in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, fibromyalgia, health. Tagged: , , , , , .

Центральная нервная система-Central nervous system

Image via Wikipedia

The first thing that comes to mind when I think about fibromyalgia is that it’s been a long road of pain and fatigue that gradually worsened over time.  I don’t fully understand when I hear that it isn’t a progressive illness or disease, since over the past seven years I’ve gone from saying ouch while bending over in the garden, to having many days (possibly years worth) of being completely debilitated by pain and fatigue.

Is it a disease or a syndrome?  Illness, disease or syndrome?  I think it may be all of those.

Fibromyalgia is a pain filled life changing experience.

Fibromyalgia is often misunderstood, stigmatized and people who suffer from it are wrongly judged.

Sometimes I feel like I understand what I’ve learned about fibromyalgia, particularly that it’s a central nervous system disorder, and other times, when I’m deep in the throws of severe pain or terrible fatigue, I question what I thought I understood.  During these times, I wonder if the doctors have missed a rare disorder or another disease more understood than fibromyalgia is.

Some days I fully accept it and other days I wonder if it even exist, and again, wonder if the doctors have simply missed something that would clearly explain all the pain, the fatigue and the myriad of other symptoms I have.

I’m afraid of fibromyalgia.  Not all the time but some of the time.  I’m afraid of getting older and adding an aging body to an already painful weak one.

I believe we are human.  I do not believe that pain, sickness, illness and diseases are a result of karma, sin or character issues.  I believe humans are susceptible to diseases because we are human.

Disease can be caused by chronic stress but this cause doesn’t make it any less real.

I believe fibromyalgia is a medical entity that causes great suffering and drastically changes lives.

Fibromyalgia is not the same for everyone.

Treatment for fibromyalgia is not the same for everyone.

The view that fibromyalgia is a central nervous system disorder, Central Sensitivity Syndrome, (CSS), makes the most sense to me.

The first time I heard about CSS was when I met with a Rheumatologist, Dr. John B. Winfield at UNC-Hospitals in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.  I had an appointment with him the day before he left his position and moved to the mountains.  I wouldn’t have been able to see him again anyway because UNC-Hospitals would not allow him to see a patient for fibromyalgia more than once.  (Politics…)  I don’t think this helped him help his patients.

As I write, UNC-Hospitals doesn’t have a doctor who specifically treats fibromyalgia.  They have the department of Rheumatology, but they refer fibromyalgia patients to a family physician who often refers the patient to a Rheumatologist.

My visit with Dr. John B. Winfield remains one of the best doctor’s visits I’ve ever had.  I spent over two hours with Dr. Winfield that day.  He told me I would see his research in a few years but at the time that seemed like forever.  Now I see his research.

Finally, I hear doctors, or at least mine, talk about CSS.  Finally.

“Central sensitivity syndromes: a new paradigm…” Yunus MB, (PubMed.gov)

Excerpts from an abstract summary of the article (above link) —

“Such terms as “medically unexplained symptoms,” “somatization,” “somatization disorder,” and “functional somatic syndromes” in the context of CSS should be abandoned. Given current scientific knowledge, the concept of disease-illness dualism has no rational basis and impedes proper patient-physician communication, resulting in poor patient care.

–“The disease-illness, as well as organic/non-organic dichotomy, should be rejected.”

After having caught up a bit on the latest articles, which I find to be tiring to my brain, I’m somewhat confused.

I understand that  Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is part of fibromyalgia.  I guess you can have one without the other, but I’m not sure.  I was diagnosed with CFS before fibromyalgia.

I had Lyme’s Disease in 2003, which caused my joints to protrude and hurt very badly.  They got better except bending over never did stop hurting.

I had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever in 2005.  I didn’t get treatment for six or seven weeks. My wrists joints were protruding again.  I was severely ill. I was finally diagnosed and took Doxycycline.

The fatigue continued.  I began to have severe low back pain.  Neither went away.  I was referred to immunologists.  They said I had Post Infectious Disease Syndrome and wrote on my records that I have CFS as a result of RMSF.  They said the disease stayed in my system so long that it caused a systemic infection that could last, possibly, the rest of my life.

I saw Dr. John B. Winfield the next summer, in June, 2006, who diagnosed me with Classic Fibromyalgia.

He spent a lot of time with me, several hours, educating me about fibromyalgia and talking with me about how to live with the stigma around the diagnosis, particularly as it is considered an invisible illness.

I don’t know where to draw the line, or if there is one, between fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I have all the symptoms of fibromyalgia and all the symptoms of Chronic Fagtigue Syndrome.

I could benefit from another two hour visit with Dr. Winfield.  He did mention that me doing things like taking trips to the mountains, along with a few other activities I shared with him that I enjoy doing, would be good for fibromyalgia.

Update on August, 27, 2010 —

Please see the comments on this post for several excellent links (from George) for recent new findings/ research about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Thank you George.







5 Aug

Just in time again

Posted by DOGKISSES in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, fibromyalgia, health, mental and emotional health. Tagged: , , , , .

Several days ago I’d placed the bill in the center of my desk, clearly visible without any surrounding clutter.   August 6th.  I had the number planted in my brain.  No biggie.  All I have to do is make a quick call to my agent’s office and the bill is paid.

Apparently though, it is a biggie.   Everything is lately.  I can’t concentrate on one subject very long, particularly bills.  The act of paying them makes my gut get all twisted and gives me anxiety.  It also makes my brain feel like it’s being squeezed.  I get nauseated and dizzy.  I go lie down and think maybe in a few minutes I’ll feel better and can pay the bill.

The best of a week passed and I kept trying to pay it.  I did call once and for the first time the number was busy.  I called back and busy again.  I went back to bed for a little while.  I don’t like going to bed during the day.  At least not regularly when it’s because I’m sick.

I like lying in bed on a cold winter’s day reading a good book.  I like to take naps when it rains or an afternoon spent enjoying the sweet company of love, but I don’t like this business of having to lie down every little while because I’m too tired to do things and too tired to think.   I have things I both need and want to do.

I woke up with anxiety today.  I sat down at my desk immediately realizing it was the fifth.  I remembered I needed to pay the bill.   While having my coffee I paid two other bills.  Finally, I saw the auto bill.

If it's not too late then it's just in time

too tired but not too late

I’ve been a customer there for over a decade.  I remember when I first went to their office, which is in the mountains of western North Carolina.  One thing I loved about living there was that all the businesses had flower gardens outside their offices.  I also loved the old beautifully restored houses, some of which were commercial property.

Today the agent answered when I called.  I usually talk to his secretary.  He’s a nice man.  I told him I needed to pay my bill.  I made a remark about me possibly being the only customer who waits until the last minute.

He laughed.  “Oh no,” he said politely.  “Lots of people wait,” and I heard him keying in my name on his computer.   “Yes,” he said.  “You have until,” he paused and laughed again, but in a nice way, ” until today.”

“Yes, I know,” I answered and laughed too.  Why not laugh?  I mean partly out of relief because for one thing, it doesn’t say the sixth.  It’s the fifth and that is today!

just in time is alright with me“Well, you’re just in time,” he said.

I couldn’t believe he said it!  That’s my line.  “Exactly,” I said to him.  I was happy he saw it my way.

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